Friday, July 29, 2005

Drifting into sleep, slowly waking up

I didn't know where I was anymore, but I didn't rack my brain about it. I did some deep breathing. Little by little I drifted into sleep, all the time feeling like I was slowly waking up.

Philippe Dijan - Betty Blue, 56

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Maybe we have to break everything

At the time, my life just seemed too complete, and maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves.

Chuck Palahniuk – Fight Club, 52

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Embyronically convoluted among the rubbishes

The people who were in that all-night movie were the end… If you sifted all Detroit in a wire basket the beater solid core of dregs couldn’t be better gathered. The picture was Singing Cowboy Eddie Dean and his gallant white horse Bloop, that was number one; number two double-feature film was George Raft, Sidney Greenstreet, and Peter Lorre in a picture about Istanbul. We saw both of these things six times each during the night. We saw them waking, we heard them sleeping, we sensed them dreaming, we were permeated completely with the strange Grey Myth of the West and the weird dark Myth of the East when morning came. All my actions since then have been dictated automatically to my subconscious by this horrible osmotic experience… In the grey dawn that puffed ghostlike about the windows of the theatre and hugged its eaves I was sleeping with my head on the wooden arm of a seat as six attendants of the theatre converged with their night’s total of swept-up rubbish and created a huge dusty pile that reached to my nose as I snored head down – till they almost swept me away too. This was reported to me by Dean, who was watching from ten seats behind. All the cigarette butts, the bottles, the matchbooks, the come and the gone were swept up in this pile. Had they taken me with it, Dean would never have seen me again. He would have had to roam the entire United States and look in every garbage pail from coast to coast before he found me embyronically convoluted among the rubbishes of my life, his life, and the life of everybody concerned and not concerned. What would I have said to him from my rubbish womb? 'Don't bother me, man, I'm happy where I am. You lost me one night in Detroit in August nineteen forty-nine. What right have you to come and disturb my reverie in this pukish can?'

Jack Kerouac – On The Road, 230

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Misprint of desire

So what if, in the future, his freedom of action, his freedom to do and repeat special things, would render everything limpid and harmonious? Meanwhile, now, today, a misprint of desire distorted the meaning of love. That dark spot represented a kind of obstacle that must be crushed, erased, as soon as possible – no matter with what forgery of bliss…

Vladimir Nabokov – The Enchanter, 49

Sunday, July 24, 2005

I died of a summer's day

For a fraction of a second I sensed the infinite space that separated us, and ever since then I tell whoever cares to listen that I died once... at thirty-five years of age, of a summer's day in a hospital room...

Philippe Dijan - Betty Blue, 313

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Blah, blah, blah, the end

I try to get centred:

Watching white moon face
The stars never feel anger
Blah, blah, blah, the end

Chuck Palahniuk – Fight Club, 88